Don’t Follow Your Dreams

I’ve had bloggers block for the last few days. I want to write, but it all comes out wrong. Doesn’t help that now that I am a blogger, I am researching other bloggers, and it turns out, there are a ton. Some well-established, really good, high-profile bloggers with fantastic, if not aggravating, ideas. Great. Now I am like a twenty year-old heading off to Hollywood to get famous.

My big dreams of following my bliss quite quickly became my dumb, naïve, job quitting escapade. Punish me. Where are my parents? They should spank me, ground me and then set me straight.

Unfortunately, I am now an adult and my mistakes are larger than those of a child. That means I have more power to screw up my life.

I think I might be succeeding. At failing, that is.

I am not sure. I don’t have it all figured out and I’m having a mid-life crisis. I’m not in the middle of my life. Unless I am, and in that case, that sucks because it means I only have thirty-four more years to live. I will live to a ripe, old age of sixty-eight at which point I will croak. No doubt alone, as I don’t think I have much in me to accomplish anything more with my life. Is this post inspiring you, yet?

I’m young. I’m a new writer. I am not well-known, I don’t have a lot of professional writing experience. Oh wait, actually, I have none.  Telling you that publicly is not probably good for my career either, but hey, this is what happens when one has bloggers block, they must let the damn break and just spill forth the truth of the moment. I feel like crap.

Also, after reading this Blueprint of a Woman’s Life, it turns out that I am way past the deadline on some important issues. Like marriage. Penelope Trunk, a well paid blogger, tells me that I should have gotten married by the time I was 28. So I could be done with kids by the time I am 35, before my eggs all run off to die and quick death . That’s next year. And, apparently, women get unhappier as we get older.

This is why I listen to Abraham-Hicks and steer clear of news, articles and other people’s opinions. When I delve into the world of what other people think, I often end up with a sad pit in my stomach. I don’t want to believe any of that stuff. Yet, my mind can’t help but wonder, is it true?

I put off marriage and kids to establish myself in my career and have some money and stability and now I just left that. I am unemployed. Not married. No kids. 34. I’m living off my savings for the next year to write and travel and now I wonder, maybe I should have saved that money to stay home when I have a baby? I’m late to the party and I might miss it altogether. Life just looks bleak today through the view of Ms. Trunk and I think she’s brilliant, in a, you just killed my mood kind of way.

You should read her blog instead of mine. (Not really) She has said everything I would like to say, way long before I said it, better than I could say it. So, yeah, like, uh, my job is done here. Before it began. Good thing I quit my stable, reliable income job that kept me contributing to people and made me feel like I was making a difference, even if I wasn’t. Now, it’s clear I am not making a difference at all, at least I’m no longer deluded, that’s an improvement, right?

So, the point is this. Find a job that makes you feel like you are contributing. Find a job with people you like. Find a job that pays you well for your time. Find a job and keep it. Don’t be like me and quit so you can sit around and read about how other people found success. And get married early and have babies.

Don’t follow your dreams because someone else has already done it better.

I think this is my best post yet.

What do you think?