4 Ways to Nurture Yourself During Times of Grief


On Tuesday of this week, the news came that a dear friend had gone missing.

He drove out to the western deserts of Colorado in his truck with his dirt bike on Saturday and by Monday night, when he was expected back to teach the first class at his healing school, a school which he’d taken years to build, he did not show.

A missing person’s report was made & two friends went out to start the search & soon it turned into a full on search & rescue with planes, helicopters & dogs.

It had been hot. The winds were high. It was a desolate, large area; hard to find someone out on those vast trails.

Soon enough, they were on his trail. It appeared as though he wrecked his bike, left the scene on foot, dragging his leg. He removed his helmet, boots & jacket and headed for the hills.

His body was found, resting on a hillside, under a tree. He had rolled his shirt up under his head, had his right hand over his heart, and his eyes were open, gazing up into the sky.

Bless your heart, Nolus. Bless your soul. We love you.

All day long, while people were being notified of the situation, friends & family came together swiftly in words of love & prayer & offers of service.

Before long, hundreds were flooding Facebook offering support, well wishes, visions of our friend being surrounded in light, with a team of angels, protected. Wishes that he’d soon be found & he’d return to us.

It was clear, quickly, that this man was loved & that we were all part of a large community of caring hearts, family like friends, a tribe, ready & waiting to serve, to take action, to show up & support.

The out pour of love was truly moving.

Before long, it was so clear how much love this man had in his life, how many people cared for him, and the great legacy he would leave in his wake, were he to not come home.

It reminded me, too, that we matter. We really do. People care. Each one of us makes a difference. Each of us is a vital part of the whole.

If you’ve ever wondered if anyone would care if you went missing, let me assure you that we would. You matter. BIG TIME!

The initial days here have been full of shock & wonder & questions & awe.

They’ve also been full of gifts, remembering our brother, honoring our brother, coming together in his name, determined to honor his life, his work, the gifts he gave as he walked this Good Red Road, as the Native’s call it.

My brother was a loving, kind, good man. A source of connection, joy & friendship to many.

In his passing, he has already opened our eyes & our hearts to the wonder & beauty & fleeting nature of life. He has sent us a reminder to live fully, to follow our dreams, to connect with those we love & to say, I love you to our near & dear.

We will celebrate his life.

We will process together & hold space for one another as this process unfolds.

I feel compelled to share that it is my perspective that our soul chooses to pass on sometimes, when our mission is complete.

Death is an illusion.

Our friends & families are still with us in spirit once they’ve left the material world. They are right here. Right now.

Nolus is a guide to us on the other side now. He is a Warrior King, an angel, paving the way, lightening our load, whispering in our ear…

I respect the process each individual must go through when death comes.

I also wish to say that death is a part of life, a season under the great Sun, a transition for a spirit, but it is not the end.

If you’ve lost someone you love, remember, you can call upon them.

Ask them to guide you, invite them into your life as a counselor from the other side.

Ask questions of them & then do automatic writing.

Speak to them before sleep, invite their wisdom into your dreams, and pay attention to how you feel upon waking.

Even though we may believe in spirit, we still have a grief process to go through. Honor your process.

Here are 4 ways to nurture yourself during a grief process:

1. Basil Tea: (For Moving Grief)

  • 3 fresh basil leaves, crushed in a cup of hot water, steep 10 min then drink
  • Drink this while being aware of what feelings you are having around your grief process
  • Do it 9 nights in a row

(Schedule time each day to journal about your feelings and thoughts, perhaps while drinking Basil tea)

2. Rosewater Spritzer: (Helps with grief, sadness and tuning into your feminine nature)


3. Be sure to keep a regular schedule of eating and sleeping



4. Engage in structured activity with others


I wish you love & peace as you navigate this magical mystery tour, this great experience of life & death & love.

May you have full space to feel all that you feel, to laugh if you need to laugh & cry if you need to cry. There is room for all of it, all of it.

I love you, my brothers & sisters!

Nolus Sunoon, we love you, brother!











All my love,


Rachel Claire


    1. Hi Matthew! Thank you so much for reading & for taking time to comment. I am unsure if we have met, too. 🙂 We do share beautiful community! Blessings to you, too! Rachel

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