Why You Don’t Have What You Want & How to Change That

dreamstime_s_18748045“It doesn’t matter what you choose, what matters is the energy with which you choose it.” ~Caroline Myss

We’ve all heard that we are creators and we can actualize or manifest, right?

If only I visualize just right, or I make that perfect collage and look at it every day, or I write down my intentions, then I will have what I desire, right?


If it was that easy, then we’d all be driving Porsche cars, or Mercedes, and we’d all have millions in our bank accounts and live in our dream homes.

So, what’s in the way of having what we want? Why don’t we have it?

The reason is that who we are being determines our creation. Who we are being is where our REAL intention comes from. The space from which we create will be a part of the creation.

Intention is the highest postulate, so whatever I got, is what I actually intended. 

If I intend to have a new Mercedes, but I don’t yet have it, then there is a reason why. My intention wasn’t really to have it. So, what then, was my *real* intention?

Maybe I’m actually really afraid of having to deal with higher insurance prices if I get that new car. Maybe I’m fearful of being wasteful and letting go of the perfectly fine car that I have now. 

In that example, my intention really was to just have it easy, pay less for insurance and keep my old car.

So, why do we get confused and not realize what we are really creating?

The problem is that the way we are being, that which is really driving the show, is an unconscious way of being. We go around talking about our desires and dreams and wishes, but really, underneath, we have old belief systems keeping us stuck.

So, to really get clear, I have to take a look. I have to say, well, what are the fears underneath? What do I really value?

To find out what’s truly going on, look to what you say to yourself about why you don’t have what you want. What do you think is in the way of having what you want? What do you say to yourself?

In case you didn’t get out your pen and paper and go deep into mediation to get those answers, let me lay it out for you.

You came in with, and inherited, a variety of belief systems. A belief is just a thought, coupled with an emotion, that you’ve thought over time and now it is a value that you have.

In my Mercedes example, if I was raised in a family where being frugal was valued and I was taught to never to buy anything new, and not to be flashy with money and to tithe and give away any extra, then there is a conflict between my belief system (value) and what I now want.

Well, that would certainly interfere with me actualizing my white Mercedes, now wouldn’t it?

The reason you don’t have what you want is because underneath, on an unconscious level, there is some value (unconscious belief system) in conflict with your conscious intention and who you’re really being is sabotaging the show.

Whatever you’ve got, that was YOUR REAL INTENTION.

So, what to do?

Take the time to look and see and inquire about what values you may have inherited (that perhaps are NOT even your real values anymore) that are in the way of what you now desire.

As another example, if I say I really want a relationship that is healthy and loving, but I keep creating one that is abusive, then what’s going on? What do I really believe? Who am I really being?

Being creates– it is who we are being in any given moment that will create that intention that actualizes a particular circumstance.

So, if I don’t have said relationship, then I must not believe I can have it. Why not? What do I really believe?

My unconscious belief system is running the show and I am being unlovable and thus create circumstances in which I experience being unloved.

As Caroline Myss has said, “Change the magnet, change what you attract.”

Our vibration, who we are being, is what will attract outer circumstances. We must change who we be in order to have what we want.

Be, do, have, as Landmark Education puts it.

Be the change you wish to see in the world, as Gandhi said.

How do we do that?

The key to actually being the way you want to be, so you can create what you actually want to have, is to get real about the fact that unconscious beliefs are running the show!

You’ve got to look to the past to see who you were being that created the result you now have. That will clue you in to all you need to know.

Then, you have a choice. You can choose to be a new way! You can choose to release the energy of other people (society, your mom and dad, your religion, your teachers, etc.) and get real about what you REALLY value, here and now.

Then, you can create from that authentic place.

Getting to the root of what’s really going on, the mud-pie under the icing, gives us a chance to be real and authentic about where we are, where we have been, and who we’ve been being. Acknowledging that is powerful! From there, you can invent a new possibility for being, one that is conscious and not inherited from old, out-dated systems that don’t serve you!

If you’d like support in clearing out the old, stuck energy in your space that doesn’t serve, so you can fill in with your own vital energy and feel good, get a reading, I’d love to serve you!

Click here to work with me. 

If you liked this post, please like it or share it with a friend. Thank you!

To having what you want,


Rachel Claire



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