Though I seem to steer clear of most parties these days, perhaps for this particular reason, the other day I found myself at a gathering.
A good friend of mine was going to be in attendance and I was going mainly to see her. Perhaps that was my first mistake, attempting quality one-on-one time at a party.
These days, I relish one-on-one solo time with my inner-circle. Everything else wreaks of brashness.
I waited patiently for her to arrive, and once she did, I waited again for a good time when we could settle in and begin to chat. There we were, fire-side, making our way into deeper conversation, when, whaddya know, someone interrupted us.
Usually people who interrupt do so with the following remark: “I’m sorry to interrupt, but…”
Let’s get one thing straight, no you’re not. Or you wouldn’t have.
We were kind to the intruder and invited this being in to our circle of conversation. Once said person was distracted, she and I began our journey into deeper conversation again. Lo and behold, you guessed it. We were interrupted again.
This time, the woman said, “I’m sorry to interrupt…” and then went on. I excused myself to use the powder room and promplty left the party.
Now, let me explain why I think this behavior is so brazen and brash. It’s rude to interrupt.
I do get that it is a party, and I know, it happens, but here’s the thing, this behavior wreaks of self-absorption & narcissism.
Furthermore, the fact that we’ve begun to accept this behavior, like it’s okay, irks me to the core.
It’s one thing to join a group, or come up gently and sit next to people, or ask to join, but to just insert self, interrupt and take over…ugh.
You lost me at hello.
Really, in my interesting point of view, it’s totally based on a desire to not be alone at a party with no one to talk to.
I don’t interrupt people in conversations at parties. Okay, maybe in the past, but rarely.
I sit alone if need be. Find a spot, enjoy myself and wait for someone new to arrive, or for the energy to shift, or to get into a conversation, naturally.
I think it’s brash to just insert oneself in the middle of a conversation, apologize like you know it’s a faux-pas, but then continue to just interrupt anyway.
As if whatever you have to say is more vital, more important, more pressing than the others before you? (Okay, not YOU perse, you would never…)
And, the real kicker is, that we’re so trained to be gracious and nice, that when someone rudely interrupts us, we say nothing and allow it. Boring.
I’m all for saying:
“Hey, it’s nice to see you, we’re in the middle of a conversation here, would you like to join, or can I catch up with you in a minute?”
But to just allow someone to interrupt a conversation and insert themselves in the middle like they’re more important and not even draw their attention to the fact that a conversation is going on???!! Not cool.
What if the person interrupted was just sharing something deep, vulnerable, or edgy? What if it took ten minutes of conversing to get to a deep place of relating and you just blasted it to hell? 😉
I can’t tell you how many times people just interrupt my conversations, take over, and then seem to not even notice that they acted brazen and brash and totally committed a faux-pas.
Okay, maybe I just want to write a blog post using that French word. Say it, it’s yummy.
No, really, in all seriousness...don’t be rude. Wait your turn.
Or, next time you really feel like you’re SO important that you should interrupt and take over a conversation, go sit in silence with yo bad self and take six deep belly breaths. Then see what happens.
All my love,