I was 23. He was 38. I didn’t know that at the time. He lied to me about his age. He lied about many things.
One day, after months of a whirl-wind love affair, he would kiss me, say “see you later” walk out the door + disappear…
Moved. Changed his phone number. Gone.
That started my dark night of the soul.
Wondering how I could be so in love with someone who would walk out + not return.
The pain was so thick, I had no where to turn.
I sought refuge in the counsel of psychics and seers.
I don’t think of this time very often. However, I sent out a survey recently + someone responded that they’d like me to talk about the tough parts of the spiritual path, that it’s not all rainbows + butterflies!
Ha! Indeed. No, it’s not.
For me, the spiritual path deepens when we are on our knees.
We often don’t come to Spirit, God, Angels, or wanting guidance because everything is going well.
We seek when we’re aching, lonely, and feel we have nowhere to turn.
This is when we’re forced to look within.
To embrace our wounded self, to care for ourselves, and find some way to carry on when it seems the world is a harsh + dark place.
So, I was reminded by that dear community member that it’s important to talk about the shadow. And perhaps I don’t do it enough.
For, I invite the dark, the tough, the sad. It’s what we must feel, face + heal if we’re to ascend.
The best book I’ve ever read on this subject is The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by the late Debbie Ford. Check it out if you haven’t. It’s an ah-ha a minute.
The spiritual journey, to me, is a return to wholeness. What’s not whole? What’s been cut out, denied, put away?
The shadow. Our anger, shame, jealousy, rage.
These are very real human emotions that have to be embraced + healed to fully embrace our wholeness + integrate fully as a healthy human who doesn’t judge or condemn others.
We only resist in others what we’ve not yet accepted in ourselves,so we all must begin to find the places inside where we harbor hate.
In our willingness to look at the ugly, we more fully embrace the good, beautiful and holy.
So, don’t think I’m just about butterflies. Though I am about butterflies. I love them!
AND, in this space, you’re free to be you, and to show up however you are.
P.S. If you’re in a dark night of the soul, or struggling to make sense of what’s happening, reach out. You can book a reading here.