Once a month, like clockwork, I enter the fog. Thanks to my acupuncturist who helped name it for me, I can now clearly communicate to people that I’m entering a fog, or in a fog, for that is truly what it feels like.
For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s my moon cycle. Bare with me, and I promise this will make sense.
When I was younger, my cramps were debilitating. Now, at 36, I don’t have bad cramps, I just have a huge fluctuation in my hormones that gives me a headache, makes me feel emotional, foggy, and often leads to crying.
On the one hand, this time in my cycle is a good time to let those close to me know that I’m foggy & need extra support, and it’s wise for me to remember that I’m in this phase.
On the other hand, this is a time of potent magic. It’s a time when my inner-SHE, as Sara Avant Stover so brilliantly calls it, will not be silenced.
Deep feelings, stuffed or swallowed, arise to the surface.
Enough!! What about me!? These are the mantras of this time.
Wherever I’ve been being the light side of the feminine- nurturing, giving, forgiving, people pleasing & accommodating, quickly subsides to give rise to the dark feminine, who is angry, pissed, and has had ENOUGH.
SHE won’t put up with being silenced, and SHE ensures that I look at the truth of my heart in the light of day. SHE keeps me real, honest and whole & serves to remind me that though being loving & generous are great, sometimes I need to be fierce, and firm.
Often, what she’s angry about are all the places where I put other people first. My job, my students, my clients, my family’s desires, my friend’s needs, my lover’s wants. All these can be habitual ways in which I serve, say “YES” and sacrifice myself.
The deep desires of my heart: meditation, silence, time in nature, writing, nurturing times, all these can get sacrificed.
In this fast-paced world, it can be very challenging to carve out time for Self.
When women come to me and say, how can I live my purpose? how can I be more connected to me, or source? I often say, you have to carve out time for yourself.
It sounds simple, but it’s not. It sounds easy, but it’s not.
The first step in nurturing your dreams is this: Schedule one action in your calendar.
I suggest starting with 15 minutes a day. As Marie Forleo says, if it’s not on the calendar, it’s not real. If your time for meditation, yoga, a walk, or working on your book is not on your calendar, it’s not happening.
This simple mistake of not carving out time for ourselves & scheduling in our creative genius time, as Gay Hendrix calls it, is how we let years go by without ever completing the projects closest to our hearts.
It’s also how we end up feeling resentful, angry, or unbalanced. We haven’t made space for self-care & we’re depleted.
I recommend setting a timer, closing the door, and allowing ourselves to marinate in our creative genius zone for at least 15 minutes a day.
Have a book you want to write? Sit there, at the computer for 15 minutes. Turn off all outside distractions. Even if you write nothing, that 15 minutes of sitting in the uncomfortable emotions that arise when we attempt to grow, and go beyond our comfort zone, are worth their weight in gold.
It’s about creating a habit. It’s about a ritual, discipline, being willing to show up. Then, the universe says, “Oh, she’s trying.” And we get met with heavenly help.
So often we want magic pills or quick fixes. The truth is that even for the most spiritual of endeavors, we have to take some sort of action.
It’s true that sometimes we must sit, and cultivate our awareness in silence, connect to ourselves & raise our vibration, but then, we must get up and take action in the outer world if we want outer world results.
Women will ask me what they can do to make a change, and I feel so much compassion for them, but sometimes the answer is as simple as taking one new action right now.
If you desire to actualize something into your reality, then think of one action you could take right now and do it. Or put it in your calendar.
Sometimes, that action looks like good-old fashioned Self-nurturing! Take a bath. Go for a walk. Put your back up against a tree. Journal your thoughts.
My boyfriend says I am better at nurturing myself than any woman he’s ever dated, and that makes me feel great, but it also tells me how far some of us have to come- because even I still struggle with carving out time.
If other women, like you perhaps, are doing LESS, then we have a problem! Give to you, sweet sister! Schedule it now!
There are no quick fixes or magic pills. There’s heart, passion, love & sharing that with the world. You must be willing to do one thing right now that is in alignment with your highest desire. Otherwise, you will perpetually sacrifice for others, feel resentful, and watch the days go by without ever carving out time for you to share the gifts of your heart!
So, what’s one thing you could take action on right away? Leave a comment below & let me know. Check back too, I read every one. Together, we can support one another in spending time in our creative genius, rather than being a YES, Ma’am and watching our souls die slow, painful, deaths. 😉
To Your Brilliance,