It felt like a curse. My emotions were always written all over my face. On more than one occasion, I turned bright red in public and burst into tears.
Many of my family members hated my crying “episodes.” I did, too, but I couldn’t help it.
Along with my tears came a great deal of judgment and shame by me and those I loved. It’s amazing how many people will insinuate that one cries as a way of manipulation. That was never true for me, it was a reaction to feeling deep hurt, sadness or rejection.
One time, I met with a Shaman and did a soul retrieval. She saw dragonflies as my totem animal and when we read about them together, it said that people with this totem are often sensitive and emotional when young, and that integrates and becomes more of a power as an adult.
This has been true for me. Though I can still burst into tears and feel very deeply, it’s different than when I was young.
I also know now that sensitivity is a great gift. When one is sensitive, it translates to every area- including being intuitive, psychic, and having mediumistic abilities.
The other night I watched the premier of the movie, The Highly Sensitive Person. Though I’d read of this before and already identified as such, the movie was interesting because she has done brain research with her husband, and joined in with the top researchers in the world, and together they’ve determined that 20% of any population- mammals, primates, animals- show signs of high sensitivity.
Furthermore, they showed that the brains of these people are actually different. It appears that there’s a deeper level of thought and integration that occurs with these people.
Please know, even if your’e not an HSP, that doesn’t mean you’re an “unsensitive” person. It just means that though you may have sensitivity and kindness and empathy too, you may not be processing at as deep of a level.
So, for example, in a moment when something is going on- the highly sensitive person may seem shy, even withdrawn. What’s really happening is that they’re processing the information on a deeper level, taking in more awareness of subtle energies and evoking a deeper sense of empathy.
This is why highly sensitive people tend to be overwhelmed by large crowds or lots of stimuli. They appear to have deep intuition, awareness and are integrating more information, on a deeper level, than the average person.
Unfortunately, many of these children, like me, are shamed, blamed, labeled, or even bullied, for what seems like a different way of behaving.
The truth is, these people are sensitive, perceiving deeply in any given moment, feeling powerfully, and are aware of a great many things beyond what someone else may be aware of.
To see if you’re a highly sensitive person, click here to take the test.
Dr. Elaine Aron is the one who first coined this term. She uses the acronym DOES to explain the HSP.
D- Depth of Processing
E- Empathy + Emotional Responsiveness
S- Awareness of subtle stimulations
To read more about that in depth, click here.
I’d like to leave you with this today: there’ s a great expectation + push in our culture, especially for women, to get out there and join in, be a part of, and participate in, community. And of course, we need one another. Yet, it’s very true that for the 20% of you who identify as HSP, you need time alone.
Allow yourself the option to choose “no” even when it seems like you should say “yes.”
A good tool to use is this: Ask yourself, is it light or heavy? Or, What will my life be like in 5 years if I choose this? If it’s light for you, then great, go! If it’s not, if it’s heavy, it likely won’t be generative for you.
Give yourself time alone, as this is how you fill your cup and demonstrate self love.
In a world that will push you to join, you have permission to be solo and in deep love and connection with yourself, and in fact, that’s how you’ll serve the rest of us with your juiciest gifts!
If you’re interested in exploring your sensitivity further, and learning tools to harness your power, have a clairvoyant reading with me. I’d love to serve you!
All my love,
P.S. Tears are a power, a gift, an ability to cleanse. If you cry a lot, you likely are very empathic, like me, and are a clear channel for emotions to flow through. Bueno! Much better than having them get stuffed + stuck, eh? That’s what emotions are supposed to do…e-motion: energy in motion!