The Difference Between Being Child-Like and Child-ish
A recurring theme as of late in my sessions, and what’s popping up in what I’m reading and listening to, is this idea of the magical child and it’s wounded-child opposite.
These are archetypes that we all have. Carl Jung talks about them. Caroline Myss, a great teacher and author, also speaks to these and how important they are to our psyche and our healing.
The journey that we each undertake is the Hero’s Journey. As Sara Avant Stover writes in her latest book, which is a must read, The Book of She, there’s a Heroine’s Journey, as well, which is actually quite different.
All of us have this journey, it’s is the story of our individual lives, and of all the great myths and movies that we love, like The Matrix, or Star Wars. They all follow a predictable cycle- one of leaving home, going on a journey, being healed or finding our gift, and coming home.
My work is ever more clear to me now. I am a guide, much like a Shaman who retrieves lost soul parts, I help people to integrate to wholeness, to come into integrity in themselves, to reclaim these lost, shunned, or shamed parts that we all have, and bring them home.
All of us were wounded as children. All of us had parts that we thought were unlovable. Our journey home, to wholeness, and to honoring the truth of who we really are, requires integration of these parts.
We can’t believe that there’s only goodness and light and all will be happy and well forevermore, and think that that’s the point. Nor can we dwell in darkness and sadness, regret, or shame and think that it’s all hopeless.
It’s about finding the middle way, as Buddhism refers to it. It’s about finding the balance between our light and our dark.
It’s about giving voice to all parts of us, our inner critic, or as Elizabeth Gilbert calls it in this brilliant interview with Marie Forleo, fear.
At the end of the day, what is making us stuck, or stopping us, or thwarting our creativity, is fear.
We think we won’t succeed, we’ll suck, or we don’t know how it will all work out, so we don’t do it. Or, we get twisted up in mental mind patterns and try to figure it out through effort or force.
The truth is that we are right where we need to be, there is divine timing, and we are on track. And, we have work to do, but the work isn’t always about pushing, or forcing, or trying to make something happen out of fear.
The work can be remembering our magical child, the part of us that played and was creative when we were young. We can resurrect that part of ourselves and allow the adult that we are now to ease up off the reigns and let us play.
Our work is to find our creativity and make time for it. Our work is to find our magical child and dance with her, make her our muse and let her play.
To think that life owes us, or that we can demand something of God, is to make like a wounded-child interacting with a parent.
Life doesn’t owe us anything. We get to be danced and to dance, we get to invite life in and let it move us. To do that, we must invite in these wounded, shadow parts of ourselves. We must acknowledge the fear and give it voice and then let it come with us, but it doesn’t get to run the show.
I think I can equate all my work lately to assisting others (as I assist myself all the time too) in honoring the wounded child. In bringing her in, loving her, re-parenting her, and giving her the nurturing and consolation she or he never got.
We can’t shove away our broken parts, we can’t shut our fear into the dark, or it will be shadow, shame, and unconsciousness, which will act out as our saboteur. What we can do is greet these parts of ourselves, the inner critic, the controller, the wounded-child, and we can love them, thank them, create relationship with them and heal these parts, so that we can live our creative lives, take our risks and know, at the end of the day, that we’re in integrity with our heart and our greatest joy.
It’s not about being perfect, healed, light, bright, or happy all the time. It’s about balance, the middle way, and knowing that we get to have both. There’s room here for all of it, and all of you. You get to have your angry, bitchy, controlling parts and your magical, powerful parts.
And, you get to be the adult, the one driving the bus. You get to say and choose from an adult space, not from a child-ish, demanding, whiny space. This is the difference between the wounded-child and the magical child. The former demands, expects, whines and pouts. The latter brings joy + play and creates from there.
To have this idea illuminated even more clearly, I hope you’ll watch this video with Elizabeth Gilbert. Give this gift to you today, I hope you enjoy!
If you’re feeling stuck, burnt out, bogged down, or like the slave driver in your own life, it’s time to play. Remember your magical child? What did she like to do when you were young? Set aside time for play dates to allow her to have fun + joy.
Joy is a high vibration, and when we allow this in, we make all of that which we desire to create much more easily accessible. Be creative. Have fun. Lighten up, but know that you are allowed to have all facets of your beautiful, dynamic and deep feminine self!
Now it’s your turn. Please leave a comment below and share three ways you could add play or fun to your life. I’d love to hear from you!
All my love,