How to Be a Good Leader and Make a Big Impact
After waking, snuggling, having breakfast, singing to the fire fairies and re-booting laundry, I remembered that I wanted to go to a NIA dance class today…and the clock said I still had time.
When we arrived at the Rec-Center I was glad to see a beautiful pond, golden trees and a spectacular view of the snow-capped Rockies.
When we entered the nursery, I asked the woman her name and introduced us. Then I asked if it was okay if I sat down and stayed for a bit.
The room was full of children but nothing much was going on.
They all seemed to be in their own little worlds and it was quite a lonely feel. I sat at the table with Sophia and showed her the bin of baby dolls. Heaven on earth!
There was a darling blonde girl next to me and I said, “Hello, what’s your name?” “Violet.” She said.
“I said, Hi Violet, I’m Rachel.” She got a huge smile and said, “I have a friend in my class named Rachel.” I said, “You do? That’s awesome! Guess what, I have a friend named Violet too!”
Soon, the other children began to gather around us.
I pulled out the box of crayons so Sophia could see that she could color. Before I knew it, all the children were seated round us and Jesse, the teacher, had to get more chairs.
I left when Sophia and the others were happily engaged in an activity and all gathered together.
I headed upstairs to my NIA class.
As we started moving our bodies to the music, I was aware that it takes ONE thing to make a good teacher or care taker of children…JOY.
Bringing joy, meeting the joy within others, is what ignites the light and warms the atmosphere.
To have joy with kids, you really have to love being with them.
I think that’s what made me such a good teacher, I just really, really like kids.
When I entered the NIA class, the instructor was asking everyone which NIA dance routine we should do. This caught me off guard. She’s the NIA teacher, I expect her to decide that.
She hemmed and hawwed and then decided that we needed to take a vote.
C’mon lady, this is my first class with you and you’re losing me already…
She gave us three choices, went through them twice. Two more people walked in, she reviewed them once more, then we voted. Now we’re 5 minutes into class.
There was a clear winner. She said, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’ll just pick one.”
I do my best to be loving and open-minded wherever and whenever possible, but I also really like a great leader.
I myself have trained with world class leaders at Landmark Education, have paid some of the top coaches in the world to train me, have a Masters Degree in Education and spent over ten years as an educator.
I know about commanding a room and leading a group, and quite frankly, I’m damn good at it. Damn good.
Here’s what I say are the top qualities of a great leader:
- Presence. You know how to be present- in your body, with other people, bring your full energy into a room.
- Integrity. You start on time, end on time, clean it up if you don’t, and make sure people know you’re in charge and honoring of their time.
- Humor. You can laugh at yourself, you enjoy yourself, and you don’t take anything too seriously.
- Charisma. You know how to be charming, or charismatic and engaging. This is magical soup and a quality that can’t really be taught.
- Power. You own your power, take your power, and don’t hand your power over to others.
- Empathy/Compassion. You can feel what others feel, you can feel your own feelings deeply. You’re not afraid to feel. You care for the well-being of others.
- Self-awareness. You are aware of what you’re doing, your motivations, your own pain, your own mistakes.
- Accountability/Responsibility. You’re willing to be accountable for your actions + you take responsibility. You clean things up. You own what you create.
- Vulnerability. To do all this, to be all this, in front of people, you must be vulnerable. You’re willing to be seen, flaws and all.
- Love/Heart/Joy. You have felt your pain, sat with your aches, done your work to access your joy. You bring love and heart and joy to yourself and others.
Interestingly, this article from the Harvard Business Review sums it up to say that Emotional Intelligence is what makes a great leader.
“The chief components of emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill—can sound unbusinesslike, but Goleman, cochair of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations, based at Rutgers University, found direct ties between emotional intelligence and measurable business results.
The way I see it, too many people take charge, lead, and speak, when they aren’t actually that good at it. Take our President for example.
The wise ones with charisma and self-awareness, actually sit back, observe and allow things to play out.
This is why I teach women to find their courage to speak their truth, tell their stories, and lead others. We need the psychic, intuitive, present women to rise up and open their mouths.
If you speak in front of others, or if you want to, I beg you, learn to command a room. Be with the whole room. Stand tall and proud and speak loud.
If you’re a coach or a teacher, please, use your power. I expect that when I show up to a class or a coach, they’ll know what they’re teaching, they’ll start on time and they’ll take charge.
Above all, know that how you be, every moment, of every day, with everyone you meet, weaves the web and molecular make-up that is your life.
If you want to do big things, make a big difference and lead and teach, then start now. The feminine energy in all of us is the relationally, emotionally intelligent part.
Show up and gather the children round. Use your voice. Access your feminine nature, and by golly…
DANCE YOUR HEART OUT!
When I picked Sophia up, apparently all the other kids had just left. I found her standing behind the lone teacher in the room who was filing papers in a binder, her back to Sophia.
I said, “Hi babe.” Her lip quivered as she said, “Hi Mama.”
This was the first time I’d left her in a nursery type setting in awhile. Sweet babe. We’re all growing up, some of us faster than others.
Weave your magic. Your mere presence changes things so make sure it’s for the better. And remember: the way you BE with one impacts the WHOLE. So, if you really want to be a leader, ensure that you show up fully with an open heart for EVERYONE you meet.
Ultimately, being psychic, seeing, healing, is about being able to say hello. To the bum, the drug addict, to the woman who annoys us, to all of it. For those energies are mirrors of the parts of yourself you would deny.
To truly be a good leader, one must love people, and to love people, you must be able to say hello to everyone you meet.