How to Be a Conscious Parent


I’m reading an excellent book by a woman named Shefali Tsabary called, The Conscious Parent, transforming ourselves, empowering our children. She was featured on Oprah’s, Super Soul Sunday.

One of my great passions and areas of interest is education and the parent/child relationship.

Given that I’ve spent my life in education, having served as a full-time teacher for seven years in the public schools, and two years in a private school, I’m fascinated with the ways we treat children.

Shefali says that all the problems that arise within ourselves are an indication of a betrayal of the self, the inner-voice that was never attuned to. She also says that all that needs to be done is a shift in consciousness.

We must enter into being- that’s all that needs to be done. It’s at one the most profound and most complex.

I love this because this is the work I do in the world as an intuitive and clairvoyant. I help people attune to their inner voice, so that they can live life authentically and be who they really are.

We must wait for the voice to emerge in our children, but the problem is that we don’t place stock on the inner voice, or the authentic self, so sometimes, it doesn’t emerge, or, if it does, we break their will.

If we are constantly pushing our children to please us, to fit in, to achieve, and to do as we say, then they will not develop, nor heed, their own inner call. This will cripple them in life, left to be empty shells of what we projected upon them, having to sift through their truth from the inherited beliefs of their culture.

Shefali says that we get threatened because we don’t want to look within. How can we meet our children’s inner land scape if we don’t know our own?

It often shows up with children who are so-called, “black sheep.” These children absorb the shadow- and are usually the the most sensitive person in the family. They absorb everybody else’s stuff and act it out for the sake of the family to wake up.

What to do if you have a child who is the black sheep? Love the defiant, oppositional child. They won’t be walked over. They say, until you fix what’s wrong in our system, I will fall apart.

I believe these children come in to break the mold, challenge the status-quo and wake us up. Parents would rather believe that there is something wrong with their children, but their essence, every manifestation of that, is an indication of where we need to grow.

We’d rather believe our child is wrong than step out of our ego.

Celebrate the ordinariness of your children. The ego wants everything to be grand & idealized. We want them to be the greatest manifestation of ourselves.

Unless they’re always winning, we will not recognize them, little realizing that it’s the little moments that call for connection. We miss the innate wonder in their ordinariness.

The essential questions of life for all beings are these: Am I whole? Am I worthy? Do I matter?

Love your children, honor their ordinary, celebrate the little daily wonders and ask them what they desire. Celebrate their uniqueness and ensure that they know that they are worthy, whole and matter, regardless of what they produce or how they perform.

Parenting is a spiritually regenerating journey.

Every moment is a meeting of spirit. Each dances on a spiritual path that is unique and yet alone.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” ~Kahlil Gibran


Check out Shefali’s book here. Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear from you!

If you’d like to attune to your inner voice, make sure you download your FREE Women’s Intuition Toolbox.  Click here.

Thanks for joining with me,


Rachel Claire


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