8 Practical Tips for Troubled Times

dreamstime_xs_5266767The other night I was feeling bummed out. It was one of those nights where I just wanted to sit home and feel sorry for myself and be in my pajamas and watch movies.

Yet, I knew that it was important for me to get out and be around people and lift my own spirits. I hadn’t gone out in awhile. This is my first tip. Sometimes you just gotta get up and go.

Tip #1: Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. 

We all get bummed out and down in the dumps. We all feel lonely and like we’d rather just isolate, minimize and control life. Yet, when we’re really troubled or hurting, the best medicine can be the company of others.

I put on my big girl panties as they say and got myself dressed in my best clothes. Even though I felt tired and bummed, I made myself do it. This is how big girl Rachel sometimes takes care of little girl, Rachel.

She runs the show and makes her face the world, when all she wants to do is mope and cry. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes we need to mope and cry. Sometimes, though, we just need to get out.

Tip #2: Get dressed in your best.

When we’re hurting or sad or feeling depressed, it can be easy to let ourselves go. When I got dressed in my outfit, I realized I had a cute new one I’d never worn before. I felt good, I felt like myself again- Confident, radiant. So, get up, get dressed, put on your big girl panties, and go to where they are.

Tip #3: Go to where they are. 

Sometimes when we’re bumming or convincing ourselves we’re alone, we expect someone to show up at our door and save us. This isn’t how life works. I learned long ago that an adult goes out to where they are.

A child mopes and hopes someone will come find them. If you want company, go out to where they are- this means finds your peeps. Do you love music? Go find it. Do you love dancing? Go find it. Love meet up groups? Find your peeps. If you go to where they are, you’ll find your people, and shabam! You won’t feel so lonely. 

Tip #4: When you go out, meet new people. 

When I put on my outfit and went out to hear local music, where I knew lots of people in my community would be, I connected, said hello and danced with old friends, but I also met new people.

The older I get, the more interested I seem to be in finding out about new people around me. So, I took a break from dancing and went outside where I could talk to people. I walked right up to a new group, stood there with them, said hello and introduced myself.

I ended up making new friends, having some good laughs, and at a party full of people that I knew, I spent most of my time hanging out with “strangers.” An old friend taught me that it’s so easy to make a new friend. All you have to do is say, “My name is Rachel, what’s your name?” Seriously. It can be that easy.

When I force myself to connect with “strangers” I remind myself that we’re one family, one people, and I can be with anyone, anywhere. I also love being reminded that one moment you had no idea of someone’s existence, and then next? You’ve just met a new person that makes the world a brighter place.

Tip #5: Listen to good music. Make art. 

While dancing, the DJ shared this quote by Maya Angelou:

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.”

It reminded me that music is my refuge, too. Sometimes when I’m off center, I forget that music literally does soothe my soul. Make time to listen to good music. Dance in your living room. Allow your spiritual, sensual, sexual energy to flow through you. That’s the creative juice of life.

Try this one by Sade, it never gets old. 

Times full of heartache can be great times to write that book, paint that picture, or build that project. Use your hands. Channel the energy into art. Make something beautiful out of pain.

These tips are simple. I’m saying, sometimes we have to force ourselves to get up, go out and head to where they are. Our peeps. The ones gathered around the warm hearth space of what we value: art, music, connection.

Inside of being responsible for yourself, and not expecting anyone to have to save you, you get to be the adult, the one who can take care of yourself and nurture yourself.

Then, you get to know yourself as resourceful, radiant, independent, loving and brave soul who can choose to create the connections you desire. Easy peasy.

The DJ also said that the new currency isn’t the money in our wallets. It’s our choices. We get to choose where we go, what we do, with whom, and what we support. Choose you. Every time.

We must clear away whatever is in the way of knowing that we can choose a great life, great love and to have all we desire. It is ours for the asking. Anywhere we don’t believe that, we must work to let go.

To help you choose powerfully positive options for your life, try tapping.  I love Brad Yates. Check him out.

#7 Stay present. Let the past go. Keep up with what’s here, now. Check out this amazing video from one of my mentors and guides, Dr. Christiane Northrup, who is a pioneer in healing and teaches how to turn back aging and heal our body by staying present.

As Eckhart Tolle says, “Die to the past in every moment.”

It is only in the surrender, the letting go, that we can leave the constraints of the tight birth canal and enter into the light.

#8 Vision. It’s so important to hold the vision of the life we desire. We must imagine what we want until we can see it clearly.

After my weekend, where I was moving through some sadness and dark feelings, I felt different on Sunday. I felt like I’d made it through the birth canal. I sat, in a meditative state.

I got downloaded with visions of my future life.

I saw myself having everything I ever wanted. I saw it all. My family. My children. Nature. Community. Art. Great, great love. And I burst into tears, because I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that all my dreams will come true. For the first time in my life, I saw it, more clearly than ever. I saw that it could be no other way because I am worthy of love and family and being cherished and held. I have made the choices that have course corrected and changed the trajectory of my life. I have released some false beliefs and darkness that kept me cloudy. And now I know I am home and heading deeper into home evermore. To home, and hearth and knowing, with great FAITH that you are GREAT LOVE and so you shall receive and so it is.

The world needs you. Your light. Your love. Your radiant smile. The waves you make when you dance your pain.

Don’t hide out at home. Got out and make love with the world. Meet new friends. Know that you can be with anyone, anywhere. Like Maya, when loneliness comes, curl your back to it and watch it turn into new light, new love.


Rachel Claire

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