Yesterday was my birthday.
It was revealing on multiple levels. I realized how often I yield to other people’s desires in an effort to just “go with the flow” and “not rock the boat.” With friends and in intimate relationships, I care much more about being “easy” than getting my way, so I’ll often say, I don’t care, what do you want?
My honey and I use a great system now that really helps. If we’re trying to decide on where to eat, or whether or not to go to a party, we say, “On a scale of 1-10 how much do you want this?” Who ever’s number is higher gets their way.
On my birthday, however, I was willing to take up space and be demanding and insist that I got it all my way. It was fun.
You see, this is really the art of being feminine. It’s sexy and powerful to know what we desire, and the way we get it, is through love. If we are full up on our own feminine energy, and we feel good and are over-flowing with love, from filling our own cup and being centered within, we can ask for what we desire from that place, and it’s easy to get what we want.
Masculine men will naturally fulfill our feminine desires when we act from that place of fullness. It’s when we are feeling lack and resentment or anger that we end up not getting what we want and failing in fulfillment.
To fill up my own feminine heart and cup, to begin the day, I got up early and wrote my Morning Pages, a revolutionary tool by artist and author, Julia Cameron, from her must-read book, The Artist’s Way.
Then, I sat in my new meditation area, complete with cushion and sheep-skin rug, and sat in stillness. After that, I drank warm lemon water, a healing practice recommended in Ayurveda, to stimulate your digestive fire before breakfast.
Then, I had some iced coffee and headed to the hot tub and pool. After swimming laps and sunning myself, I went to one of my favorite breakfast spots in town, The Buff.
Once fueled, my guy and I headed to Estes Park, where we road our bikes around town and even saw some beautiful deer and elk, up close and personal. We finished our hard work by indulging in a delicious caramel apple.
In years past, I’ve often had parties for my birthday, or felt like I had to gather people, or have friends over, or make a big deal, or prove that I was loved. Now, I relish in just spending the day the way I really desire, doing things that are truly fun for me. In that old way, my birthday was spent cleaning the house, getting ready, making food for others.
This time, it was spent indulging in self-care practices, healing rituals, and small pleasures that bring me joy and help me feel centered within. This is what’s most important in my life now, and highly reflective of the changes I’ve made as I’ve matured.
Though I have a few more gray hairs than I once did, and some smile lines that are permanently there, getting older means to me that I’m more clear about who I am, what I have to offer and what I desire. And, I’m more willing than ever to forgo conventions and just dwell in nutritious activity for me.
Now, if I can just give to myself in this way, even when it’s not my birthday, I’ll be on track to a life full of small moments of deep bliss!
Centering within requires getting quiet, sitting in meditation, being in nature, journaling our feelings, connecting with beloved friends. What else?
What do you do that you know helps you center within? I’d love to hear from you, leave a comment below and let me know what you do that helps you center within.
Do these things for you, first, and ask of others for what you desire from that place of fullness, and watch how you get everything you want!
To you, yours, and choosing what fills your cup, nurtures your soul, and satisfies your heart. Today, on your birthday, and every day in between.
P.S. In case I don’t get to tell you on your birthday, happy birthday to you!