If you’re an introvert, or highly sensitive person, you know that after a social gathering, you need space to be alone.
Nothing fills my cup better than lots of space to be in my home and do whatever whimsical thing I want.
Children, even as small as two, need this time to re-set as well.
There’s a lot in the industry about stimulating children, and having them watch television programs, or getting them outside + giving them play dates, and music classes and oh! swim lessons, too…
However, I don’t see much about nurturing the quiet side of life.
Some of us are trained in this culture to be busy, to rush, to always be on to the next thing.
That’s not appropriate for small children, and its debatable whether or not it’s actually healthy for adults.
So, here’s what I recommend to assist children in being grounded and centered:
- Create a “Quiet time” or “Alone time” each day for the child of 15 minutes. (This is in addition to any nap time.)
- Set them up with their toys or dolls- it’s ideal if this occurs in their bedroom or playroom, but anywhere is fine.
- Tell them you need quiet time and they do too, and that they’re going to have quiet time now.
- Set a timer for 15 minutes.
- Tell them you’ll come back together again when the time’s up.
Watch the video below:
To make it even more fun, you can buy a big sand timer, and leave it where they can watch the time run out.
This simple practice fosters independence in children, but it also, and most importantly, allows them to feel the natural rhythm of alone time and togetherness.
Feeling this flow in their life from a young age will help them as they navigate alone time and togetherness throughout their lives, with friends, families and intimate relationships.
Another benefit is that you, as the parent, can go have time to meditate, do yoga, read a book or rest.
When children are alone, they naturally come back to their center and settle in and relax.
We all need space, and indulging our children all day long, while never setting firm boundaries, is unhealthy. This leads to children feeling unsafe, insecure and with too much power to manipulate you.
Remember, you’re the boss, or the CEO. You’re in charge.
Little is worse than being held hostage by a toddler, so free yourself up, and set a powerful boundary that can create a life-time habit of self-reliance + nurturing.
This should only be set in place if you have actually spent quality time together.
It’s not going to work well if you’ve been gone, unavailable or busy, and then you’re coming home attempting to have “Quiet time.”
You can say:
“We’ve been playing together now for a couple of hours and so it’s time for alone time. We’ll come back together in a little bit.”
Try it out and see how it goes! You’re not being a bad mom! It’s vital that we all have space to breath + re-group. Give this to yourself and your children! Let me know how it goes!
Do you have kids? Are you able to set a boundary and have the space that you need? What do you struggle with most? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Check back, as I always reply!