In Case I Cease to Be

I don’t know what’s happening to me.  It is like I am feeling everything at once. From everyone. All around the world.

I blame Scorpio and the eclipse.

I feel rivers of shame and sadness.

I feel boundless light and joy.

I feel incredible excitement and bliss.

I feel deep regret and pain.

I am navigating my life, in a tiny life boat, wondering if I ever make it to a safe shore, or park and anchor in a shallow harbor.

Simultaneously falling in love, whilst having my heart-broken wide open.

Deeply satisfied, yet filled with insatiable yearning.

Excited for the depth of the new that I feel and devastated by the release of the old.

Then, I am eclipsed, and a shadow blocks my light, and I swim in murky water and channel ancient dreams of deaths gone by.

I know not my re-birthing day, nor what intensity of light shall shine, but I know it is coming.

And I have nothing left to do, but humble myself to you, and reach for solid ground, and bow, deeply. Deep, deep reverent bows for the life that you are, that you give, that you live.

And in case I cease to be, know, I love you, from the other side of eternity.

 

All my love,

xo

Rachel Claire