I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all been hurt. When you’ve been vulnerable with someone, meaning you’ve let them in and you care for them and depend on them in some way, if they betray your trust, it can be a deep wound.
The affair your husband had, those lies your supposed friend told about you. The wounding things your mother says without realizing it, or the harsh words of a lover. Whatever form, being hurt by someone close sucks.
So, what to do? We all know in the spiritual realm, it’s often said that we should take the high road, forgive, let go.
That’s easier said than done. Even so, what does it look like to take the high road?
Here’s my take on what to do if you’ve been hurt by another:
- Remember that we’re either being love, or a call for love
Therefore, if someone hurts you, they’re calling out for love. They may be unconsciously acting out of fear, insecurity, or jealousy. Respond with love, and healing is possible. Respond with defense, and you’re declaring war.
If someone did something that hurt you, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate if they’re truly deserving of your trust, your openness and your vulnerability. If they crossed a boundary, it’s important to know that, set that boundary with them clearly, and remember, moving forward, that you can love them and forgive them, but you don’t have to keep them close, nor let them in.
- Know what you can change, and what you can’t
You can’t change someone else, nor can you control them. So, be aware of what you can change, which is your behavior, your choices, how much you let them in, etc. Set boundaries and protect yourself and get real about whether or not they’re someone who belongs in your inner-most circle. Ask the question: Can I change this? If so, How can I change this?
We all mess up. We all say or do things that in hindsight we wish we wouldn’t have. Forgiveness is key to healing our heart, softening rigid boundaries that don’t need to be there, and a way to lessen our need to cling to righteousness. Forgive. Them. Yourself. Everyone. And remember, this doesn’t mean you have to keep them close.
- Read spiritual texts
Trying to heal, move forward, or make sense in our minds of what happened can be hard to do, especially alone. Anchor your day in spiritual texts to help you get in the right frame of mind. Some of my favorites are as follows:
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
The Way of Mastery, The Shanti Christo Foundation
A Course in Miracles
Don’t try to go it alone. To really be strong, grounded, and anchored into universal and spiritual truths, we must feed our minds. Otherwise, we may just end up justifying, defending and strengthening the distance between ourselves + others.
- Have a meditation practice
We must get anchored into self to hear our own wise voice, to know which direction to go, to be grounded into who we really are, our truth and our strength. Meditate. Go within. Give space for your spirit- your higher self, then, will heal this situation.
If it’s hard for you to set boundaries, or to know when it’s time to let someone go, then seek out a trusted counselor, therapist, or healer. It’s important to have reflection from others who can see when we ourselves are blind.
Thank you for being here, all my love!