The One Thing You’ve Gotta Give Yourself

When I was a new mom, I stayed in, with the exception of two outings, for 40 days. I was recovering physically, and I wanted to go slowly + bond with my baby.

In that time, everything I wanted from the grocery store, or anywhere, I had to get through others. It can be time consuming trying to explain certain products or brands, and where to find them to people.

That gave birth to the realization of how lucky we are in this modern age to have so much so easily accessible, and when it wasn’t to me, for a bit, I began to crave simple things. Like going to the grocery store + picking out whatever I wanted. Like wearing whatever shirt I wanted. (I had to wear ones where my breasts were always accessible for nursing.) Or like going to the movies, or just running a simple errand.

All these things that the average person may take for granted, in the life of a new mother, are delicacies. I envied people who could just come and go easily. Who could just throw on clothes + run to the grocery store. Being out in the world seemed a sacred, special thing.

Now that Sophia, my daughter, is almost a year-old, I can go to the store, and stop for other errands fairly easily, though that’s not always true.

I’ve joined the ranks of the living again + life is finding new routines for me. In many ways, my life is much better- of course I have the joy of mothering my daughter, but mamahood has also given birth to a new appreciation for time.

My time is so often dominated by caring for Sophia’s needs, that once she’s sleeping, or with her father, I race to get things done. The world of procrastination that existed when I was not a mom is gone- there’s an urgency that exists now that is new.

More than urgency, I’d actually go so far as to call it a craving.

I crave certain things now, madly. And because my reserves are called upon so much more than they were pre-mamahood, I have to go to yoga, or take that walk, or drink water, as if I don’t, life doesn’t work.

So, I’ve learned that the KEY to thriving in life is paying attention to what we crave. Our cravings are there- often gnawing at us annoyingly until we give in, or just below the surface, semi-conscious, luring us ever closer.

When you’re playing a bigger game in life, like being an entrepreneur, or a mama, or changing the world, then we have to hone in on what we crave + give it to ourselves.

This is where the treasure lies. It’s in listening to our own desires, hearing the whispers of our heart, knowing what soothes our soul, and actually doing what it takes to have that thing. 

Like time alone. Like hot baths by myself. Like exercise. And most of all, like writing. Like expressing my deepest thoughts + emotions through the written word in a way that encapsulates my feelings and my journey + somehow reflects back to me where I’ve been + who I’ve become.

Motherhood has given birth to deep cravings. And now, I see that life must be centered around our cravings, lest we never accomplish our dreams.

Here’s what I’m craving lately:

• Deep connections
• Nutritious food
• Time in nature
• Quiet
• Meditation
• Writing
• Sharing my gifts with the world- being visible
• Up-leveling my game
• Surrounding myself with bad-ass rock stars
• Being honored, seen, validated, loved
• Truth
• Transparency
• Sensuality
• Love

And most of all, the biggest craving? ROUTINE.

I used to make fun of my mom. She changes her sheets + does laundry every Friday. She goes to the movies + lunch with friends every Saturday. She goes to bed at the same time every day.

Now, now that my time is limited, I realize that our cravings get fed to us through the vehicle of routine. If we don’t actually have something in our calendar, scheduled in advance, or as a routine, it doesn’t get done + life is chaotic.

Planning out each of the hours of my day so that there’s time for play + groceries + work + eating + naps + writing the sorrow + triumphs of my life somehow makes this crazy life seem manageable, enjoyable, doable, full of purpose, and like ripe soil in which to plant dreams for a better tomorrow.

So, my loves, I leave you today with but one question: What do you crave? Deep in your soul…deep in your heart, what are those things that make all else pale in comparison?

What is worth giving up drinking on Friday night, or staying up too late, or sitting there on Facebook? What does that still, small, voice whisper to you, and how, my love, can you give yourself more of that thing?

Leave a comment below if you so dare. Let me support you in the rooting down of dreams worth your life. I always love to hear from you!

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xo

Rachel Claire