The One Word I Never Want to Say but Often Do


That’s right. There’s this one word. It comes up a lot. I always hesitate to say it. 

Either we’re being it, or we’re in relationship with someone else who’s being it. I feel like saying this word is the fastest way to piss off a client, or awaken the ego, or get someone on the defensive.

Yet, it’s pervasive. As one of my favorite Astrologers, Kaypacha says, it’s one of the most pervasive energies of this time on the planet.

Okay, I’ll say it, ready?


Oh, I hate that word. Yet, it’s one we must understand + befriend if we are to transcend.

Being a victim means that we see ourselves as having something done to us that is out of our control. We feel helpless.

Yet, the call of this age is to accept full responsibility for who we are, for our choices, and for creating our own meaning in situations.

There’s what happened, and then there’s our story about what happened. If we’ve spent years telling our dramatic story, we’ve created nicely grooved pathways in our brain that have us convinced that we’re victims of our sad story.

Neurons that wire together, fire together. If you’re repeating the same thoughts and telling the same story, it gets easier and easier every time.

Now, if you really want to make a change, not only do you have to anchor in and connect with yourself and truly envision your dream life, but you’ve also got to create new neural pathways in your brain.

As Eckhart Tolle says, there are a million different perspectives we could take on any particular issue, and that’s all it ever is, one perspective out of an endless sea of possible perspectives.

That means there is no one truth. Truth is different for each of us. That also means that how you choose to look at your life is just that: a choice, and, you have 100% responsibility for how you choose to see things.

To create a world we love, and one in which we thrive, we must clean up our own house. We must give up being a victim and being in victim consciousness.

We must tell a new story, and stop telling our old stories. We must take on changing our lives like it’s our full time job, because it is.

Anytime we feel powerless, or like we don’t have a choice, or that someone has done something to us, we’re in victim consciousness.

The problem with this energy is that it leaves you with no power. It leaves you in a blame game where someone else did you wrong and you’re the poor, innocent, person left hurting.

In reality, we all play a part. Projecting all the blame onto someone else, pretending that they’re the problem, and accepting no responsibility ourselves, leaves us in a false state of superiority. It’s the egos game.

Let’s take a very real example. Let’s say you truly have been the victim of a crime. Even in this case, being the energy of “victim” leaves you with no power. You still have the choice to rise up, to heal, to grieve, forgive and move on. You’re welcome to your anger. You’re welcome to your authentic reaction.

Then, at some point, we all have to ask if the way we’re choosing to be is serving us? Is this the highest view we could take of this situation- meaning, is it empowering?

You can be any energy you want to be. What energy, space and consciousness could you be to create the life + relationships you truly desire?


Rachel Claire





  1. I love this! As a spiritual life coach, I too, struggle with bringing this up in sessions and with friends. Yet, I totally believe, as you do, we MUST explore {especially} the shadow side of ourself–without judgment–in order to truly transcend, especially from being the victim. Thank you for writing this!

    1. Hi Lindsey, thank you so much for reading + taking the time to comment. I love what you said. Yes, to full, deep, authentic exploration of all that we are! Much love!

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