One problem I see in spiritual communities is that people expect others to work for them for free.
I can’t even count the number of times people ask me to give them a quick reading or check in or advice for free. That’s ridiculous.
Some have even said, “Could you check on this for me and then maybe I could even send you some money.”
Maybe you will send me some money? This is my profession, my business, the way I sustain myself and maybe you’ll even pay me?
We’ve got to stop this.
Some will see the way I’ve built my on-line presence and ask me questions and then invite me to, “come over” or “hang out.” What they really mean is that they want to “pick my brain” or have me do work for them for free.
Believe me, I am all about love and sharing and giving, but not when it comes to expensive investments that I’ve paid good money for. If I’ve spent my hard-earned dollars and time to build something, and many people make a profession out of it, why should I give it to you for free?
The worst part to me is when a “friend” never calls or reaches out until they need something. Believe, me, that gets noticed. If you desire the support or mentorship of a friend or community member, reach out with the intention to provide some value to them, to see how you could be of service, to make it worth their time. Otherwise, you’re just being self-absorbed, and possibly, plain old rude.
The way I see it, you should not trade with friends anymore, nor should you offer your services to your friends for free.
Just because your friend is a coach, psychic, or runs their own business, doesn’t mean that they should give you their time and services for free.
If you expect people to work for you for free and you reach out to your friends and ask for their services and time for free, then you are sending a message that you don’t value their time or work and you don’t think it’s worth money.
I invite you to look and see if you do that with your own services as well.
Do you offer to give someone your goods for free?
Do you trade with friends?
I no longer am willing to trade with people. Why? Because I value my business and my abilities and services and I am not about to send a message to spirit that my life’s purpose is not worth money.
Why shouldn’t we pay one another money for our services? Do we feel that we can’t afford to exchange money?
We must be vigilant about the way we talk about our money and our career or business and be really intentional with how we operate in the world.
If I work for you for free, then I send a message to the universe that I don’t feel my work requires an exchange of money, and therefore, I won’t receive money.
If I believe that we can’t afford to pay each other, then I send that message to the universe. I don’t have money to pay. Your services aren’t worth money. I’ll work for free.
More than that, if we are trading, we have to make certain that our exchange is equal and even. This can lead to ruffled feathers in our relationships, as this requires clear communication and deeply knowing the value of your own work.
The reason many business owners don’t make the kind of money they want is because they don’t value their service or product enough and they give away their time for free.
I raised my prices, quit doing trades and stopped giving free readings to friends or my community at large.
The result? I receive new clients all the time, I am regularly booked full with my appointments and I make more money through my business than I ever have in the past.
You see, many of the people I read for, especially women, have an issue of worth at their core. This impacts whether or not they’ll receive a relationship and it determines how much money they make.
Once we really heal our core wounds around not feeling that we are good enough or that we deserve what we want, we can begin to receive that which we deserve.
You deserve a healthy relationship.
You deserve an abundant bank account.
You have to believe that, act accordingly, ask for what you want and be willing to receive it. IT means you have to say no to people and give up trying to get them to like you.
If you give your services away for free, undercharge, and trade with friends, you are saying you don’t need money. So, then, you won’t have money.
It takes boundaries, ending people pleasing and it takes feeling uncomfortable saying to friends, “Yes, I am available to you, here is the link to book a session.”
That is hard and uncomfortable, but the fact is business is not about people pleasing or devaluing who we are.
Business is about self-growth and self-value.
To be successful in business, you have to believe in what you have to offer and you have to be willing to realize that your time is the most valuable thing you can offer someone.
Then, you have to charge like that’s true.
Once you really believe, then you’ll receive and achieve what you desire.
If you’d like to work on your receiving space and managing your boundaries, get a Clairvoyant Reading or download my FREE Toolbox up above and your bonus meditations. You’ll move out what doesn’t serve, reclaim your power and replenish your energy. This increases your capacity to have.
To your having,
xo
Rachel Claire
Dear Rachel, I am all for valuing our respective gifts and talents, and also in favor of having clear boundaries to protect against people who would take us for granted. But to assume that the money we receive in exchange for our skills and talents is the only indicator of whether we value what we offer (or are being valued by others) seems sadly limiting to me. There is a big difference in my opinion between giving something ‘for free’ because we don’t value what we offer… and giving our time and energy as a gift to the people in our lives who also care for us. The latter is called community, something which is rapidly disappearing in our day and age because we are turning everything to business, and increasingly monetizing every form of human exchange, including child care and elder care. Asking for money in exchange for one’s work is both healthy and legitimate, but extolling the merits of the transactional economy does not require invalidating or condemning the gift economy, nor does it warrant telling everyone what they should do, as if there was only one way to do this right. Life is not all about business. It’s also about community, and community is based on generosity and mutual support. On this topic, I recommend a beautiful article by Charles Eisenstein titled “To Build Community: An Economy of Gifts” published in Yes Magazine.
Hi Tesa! Thank you for reading and engaging and taking the time to comment! I appreciate it! I’d love to take this opportunity to share more about what comes up for me upon reading your words. I hear that we are on the same page for valuing our gifts and talents. I also hear that we are on the same page about having clear boundaries. Those are all good things to have I think. When you say that I assume that the money I receive in exchange for my skills is the only indicator of whether I value what I have to offer, well, I don’t think I assume that. I am saying that, for me, I am practicing receiving money and valuing myself and my time enough to charge for the time that I offer my business services to others. I don’t think I said it is the only way to see if we value. However, from many of the women I work with, they don’t value themselves enough to charge for their services. If it is your business, charge for it. It’s simple. That’s not to say I can’t ever offer healing or love or contribute to my community in other ways. I do. In fact, I have a number of communities of which I am part and I contribute greatly to these communities. I offer time, listening, love, my presence. These are the best things I have to give. However, when it comes to my actual business, the way in which I make my money, absolutely, I am willing to charge for that and not give it away. I actually am on the phone for hours a week with women in free sessions where I listen and support and offer coaching and guidance and reflection and next step actions I can see they could take to get unstuck. I don’t charge for that at all. When it comes to a psychic reading- well, that’s different. That’s my business. That’s how I make money. I charge for that. I believe that the micro is in the macro and vice versa and how we do anything is how we do everything, so looking at money is a good place to start to see if we value ourselves. The fact is that we live in an economy that uses money. Period. When I’m at Burning Man in the gifting economy, I gift. When I’m away in community sharing and gifting, I do that. Here, is this world, I charge money for my services just like every other business around. Money, in my findings, is a great indicator of our willingness to receive and give, of our flow. Money is just energy, like everything else, so how we relate to money is often how we relate to energy exchange in other ways, too. I hear you, I’d love to live in tribal community and care for the children as a village and honor our elders as wise story keepers and guides. That’s not the way it is right now. It’s not. I also teach kids, I take care of kids all day, every day, five days a week. I guess I should do that for free too? I guess since I’m a healer I should not charge for my care of kids or my healing and I should starve? I’m not “extolling the merits of the transactional economy.” I’m just actually owning that that is the reality of the way it is right now. Do I work to change that? Yes. Do I believe something else is possible? Yes. So, I suppose you don’t use money, then? I’m also not invalidating a gifting economy, just to be clear. And, this is my blog, and here is where I share my thoughts, take them or leave them. Don’t believe anything I say if it doesn’t ring true for you. I know I’m one generous person. I mean, after all, I am teaching kids all day long and then serving women for free in the evenings if they can’t pay. I’m curious, what do you do with your time? Do you use money?
I checked your website. You have beautiful, generous offerings and a gorgeous site! I don’t see any way I could work with you or pay you if I wanted to. Do you accept money for your time? Thanks for all you offer, share and give!
Thank you for clarifying your approach, Clare.
I wish you well with your work and your blog.
Sorry, I meant to write “Rachel,” not “Claire” 🙂
Either name works! 🙂 Thank you!