I remember the day that my girlfriends and I had been out shopping and they left it up to me to pick our place for lunch.
I chose a local Italian restaurant I had not been to in awhile. When we entered, my eyes fell immediately upon a handsome male I’d never seen before. As we walked to our table, I whispered to my girlfriends, “I’m going to marry that man.”
When he arrived as our waiter, he began to introduce himself to us. I silently thought, “You better reach out to me first.”
He reached across the table and shook my hand before anyone else’s, even though I was in the corner.
He asked me out after our meal and our first date was later that night. The innocent and naive woman I was then took our serendipitous meeting and our mutual attraction as confirmation that he was my soul-mate.
The adult me now takes his eagerness as a sure-fire sign that he was a player or womanizer of sorts and his un-integrated narcissist part would make a great lover to my wounded little girl who lost her daddy.
After a year or so of a relationship full of lies and hiding things and mis-trust and disappointment, I finally drew a line in the sand and cut-off all contact.
That relationship was clearly a soul-mate relationship.
What!? You might be thinking.
We had known one another in many past lives as brother and sister, servant and master, and lovers. We instantly recognized one another on a soul level. That’s a soul-mate.
We were meeting up to make good on some of our loose ends, our Karma, and sometimes that doesn’t go well.
It was my job in this life to choose the opposite of what I’d chosen before, to not give my power away to him, to balance the scales in our relating. Once I did, I was free.
A soul-mate relationship is one in which we’ve shared many past lives together and we instantly recognize each other on soul level.
In the beginning, it may feel as though it’s love at first sight.
We feel the chemical attraction, we are magnetically drawn to each other and we may think we’ve found The One.
Fast forward a few months, or years, and we may be in more of an entanglement than a relationship.
A soulmate relationship is often not a life-long partnership.
It is usually a relationship that comes in to complete Karma, or to teach us a lesson to help us grow and overcome poor choices we made in past lives.
A soulmate relationship is often challenging, emotional, and hard, but, we learn a lot and we grow and we get to triumph when we choose something different than we did in the past.
In that sense, our soulmate is like an angel in the flesh, acting out our wounds with us so we can heal and evolve.
Or, they’re people we’ve given away our power to in the past and it’s time for us auto-correct and restore balance and harmony with people we’ve done wrong.
Just know that your life partner may not be a soulmate perse. Know that those really charged connections may be relationships you learn from, but not someone you spend your life with.
The truth is that the love we seek really is within.
Our most important relationship is the one we cultivate with ourself and our higher power. Once we truly know how to feel our loneliness and give to ourselves, once we know how to stop avoiding pain by distracting ourselves with shiny objects, drugs, food, or other people, we begin to connect with the beloved within.
We become strong. Whole. Grounded in our center. Sure of who we are. Filled up from the inside-out.
We can have a loving partnership too, but this is even better when we are truly capable of love, and love is who we are, and it is something we extend to others from a whole place.
We do this better when we’ve healed our wounds within and we are not falsely seeking a saviour or an idol in the form of a partner.
Sometimes those intensely passionate relationships with others come along to help us see those wounded parts and to heal them.
What we feel we heal.
So, know that you may have many soul-mate relationships in your life and that is different from a life partner. A life partner relationship likely won’t have the passionate drama, but it will have staying power.
You can love anyone, really. So, get clear on what you value, what is fun to you, what you’d want to talk about with someone when you’re alone in the woods around a campfire. That is the kind of companion you could build a life with, if and when that is something you desire.
Until then, enjoy the joy of human connection and know that there is no one mate for one person, and in fact, when your soul-mates do come along, it may be more like a wild ride than a fairytale ending.
If you’d like to look at one of your relationships and see what energetic patterns are at play, then I’d love to serve you! Download your FREE Report (below) and see me for a free strategy session and we’ll get to the heart of the matter. Click the link for your FREE Session.